Burmese Days Part Three: The Government

He's not going anywhere

Shwedagon Pagoda, Yangon

For most Westerners, the regime in Burma conjures up images of sinister government troops patrolling the streets and shadowy agents of the SLORC (drumroll please…State Law and Order Restoration Council) tapping phones and recruiting informers like the good old STASI. Some travelers even told me that if I keep bumping into the same people all around the country, they are very likely SLORC-operatives keeping an eye on me. Upon arriving, however, I found that people seemed to be living very normal lives just like anywhere else, with little government presence felt at all. Now, I know what you are thinking: “Oh sure, Ben is only saying that because he’s in a basement somewhere in Yangon and has had car batteries wired to his testicles for so long he’s ready to denounce gravity”, but honestly, except for soldiers with machine guns stopping buses and inspecting passports every now and then, the government seemed no more oppressive than say, in neighboring Thailand.

That said, upon arriving I was immediately told that talking about politics in public is a very bad idea not only for you, but also for the people you talk to. Also, I suppose tourists are really only being shown the good parts, with much of the poorer country off-limits. I met a guy who had been doing volunteer work along the Thai-Burmese border, and according to him there are methamphetamine factories there with absolutely revolting working-conditions. Workers are forcibly addicted to heroin to keep them under control, and are given methamphetamine to allow them to work twenty-plus hours a days. Once they drop dead, new people are simply brought in like meat for a grinder.

All in all, I suppose the main effect of an utterly uncaring and incompetent government is insidious and seen most profoundly in the fact that although Myanmar is endowed with many natural resources, the standard of living remains dismal. One can only imagine how different things could be if Aung San Suu Kyi and the NLD had been making the decisions for the past twenty years.

On the more comical side of the tyranny is the government’s official newspaper “The New Light of Myanmar”, which is dead funny: full of propaganda and that rich, over-the-top descriptive English that Asians seem so fond of. Based on the articles, it would seem every single village in Burma is on the cusp of becoming a thriving metropolis of science, culture and industry thanks to fatherly government oversight. Also, on the very first page of every issue, a large box indicates “The People’s Desire” in four very 1984-esque directives:

· Oppose those relying on external elements, acting as stooges, holding negative views

· Oppose those trying to jeopardize stability of the state and progress of the nation

· Oppose foreign nations interfering in internal affairs of the state

· Crush all internal and external destructive elements as the common enemy

Real subtle.

Epilogue

If you’re planning a visit to Burma, all I can say is: great choice! Your experiences there will very likely span the entire spectrum of human emotion from utter despair to pure ecstasy, but I promise it will never ever be boring. I would offer a few simple pieces of advice, however:

:

· Apply for a visa in GOOD TIME, i.e. at least two weeks before going.

· If you’re travelling alone, try to get together with other backpackers for the longer bus-trips, as they can really bring you to your knees if you have no-one to laugh about them with.

· Don’t plan on travelling around anywhere during Thingyan.

· Keep your plans liquid, as unexpected shit will come up.

Otherwise, enjoy the hospitality and take it easy!

P. S. Some ska songs just immediately make you want to party. This chief among them.

Mighty Mighty Bosstones: The Impression That I Get

http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/The+Mighty+Mighty+Bosstones/The+Impression+That+I+Get--2144849